Romance & Revenge
by GallifreyenCultOfSkaro
Summary: Some childish fun between Gwen and Ianto is taken too far when Gwen pretends to flirt with Jack!  Ianto is not happy, Jack blames the wrong person, Tosh and Owen are forced to take sides...  And Cardiff is nearly destroyed.  Again.
1. Rainy days & Missing shoes

**Title: Romance & Revenge**

**Summary: When Ianto decides to get back at Gwen for stealing his shoes (whilst it was raining), she plots the ultimate revenge. Flirting with Jack! But it all goes too far when Ianto blames Jack, who gets mad, and gets back at **_**him**_** by pretending to actually date Gwen, not to mention the Doctor and Rose pop in and 'accidentally' get involved, leading to yet **_**another **_**fight! And then a valuable alien artefact is stolen from the Torchwood hub…**

Ianto Jones was soaking wet. And angry. He stormed into the hub, yelling as he did so.

"Gwen! Get yourself down here and kindly explain why my shoes mysteriously vanished right before I had to go and chase a Weevil in the rain!"

Gwen was downstairs in a flash, with a big grin all over her face.

"Ianto Jones, when are you ever going to learn?" She mock scolded him. "Never go out in the rain without your shoes."

"I wouldn't have had to if _somebody _hadn't have stolen them!" He retorted angrily.

"Who stole them? The Weevil?" Still mocking him. Still enjoying every moment of it.

"Only if that Weevil is a show-off, dark haired woman who thinks she's better than everyone else!" He snapped back. It had _not _been an easy day for him.

Meanwhile, Jack heard them arguing and came down to see what all the fuss was about. When he got down there he was quite surprised at what he saw.

"Ianto, you're soaking! What happened? Gwen, why do you look like you're about to hit something?"

"Why don't you ask the _Weevil_?" Said Ianto, nodding his head towards Gwen. Jack was confused.

"Weevil? What Weevil?"

Gwen gave Ianto a particularly evil smile, which he returned with a really deadly glare.

"Oh, Ianto ran into a bit of trouble with a Weevil. He told me it stole his shoes." Oh, how she loved mocking him like this!

Jack was _not _impressed.

"A _Weevil _stole you're shoes? Is it the same one that stole you're iPhone, which, sorry for this by the way, I sat on this morning, because you left it sitting in my bathtub. By the way, when were you even _in _my bathtub?"

"Oh, funny story, that, you see, I was- never mind. Anyway, what Gwen means is that she decided to steal my shoes right before I had to chase a Weevil, and yes, that was whilst it was raining." He tried to explain.

"Well, whatever happened, Gwen, you go and check the computers are running, and Ianto, go and hose yourself off. There's some soap somewhere from who knows when." Jack told them both.

Ianto sighed and made his way to one of the empty rooms that thankfully had a shower installed. This was really _not _one of his better days.

**Just a quick authors note here:**

**This is set after Children of Earth, only Ianto obviously lived.**


	2. Weevils like coffee?

Well, here's chapter two! Thx 2 BananaBabe903 4 the nice review, and 4 pointing out my spelling error.

Later, Ianto was in some dry clothes and was making himself a coffee to warm himself up. Just then, he heard a nasty snarl from behind him, and it _didn't _make him feel like something good was going on. He turned around slowly and came face-to-face with Janet, Torchwood Three's captive Weevil.

_Oh, God. _He thought to himself. _Not another Weevil problem!_

"Gwen! Janet escaped from her cell again!"

No reply.

"GWEN!"

For the second time that day, Gwen came running down the stairs.

"What do you want _now_?" She asked him, clearly exasperated.

"Janet escaped again."

"So?"

"So, go and get her."

"Why can't Jack do it? Come to think of it, why can't _you _do it?"

"Because Jack is busy with whatever it is he does in his spare time, and I am still trying to turn myself from an ice-cube back to a person again. Now go and get her."

At that very moment, Janet decided she wasn't going to hang around listening in on Ianto and Gwen's argument anymore. Instead, she grabbed Ianto's mug of coffee and ran off down the corridor.

"Oh, brilliant!" Ianto was getting annoyed.

Gwen, however, found it extremely funny.

"It's not funny!"

"Are you kidding me? It's bl**dy hilarious!"

"Please just go and get her."

"I'm not going. You go."

"It's your turn to watch her. That makes it your turn to catch her."

"Yeah? Well, it's your coffee, which makes it you that has to go and fetch her."

"Hey!"

"You want your coffee back or not?"

Ianto sighed and took off after Janet.

Jack was sitting at a computer, checking for any Rift activity, when Janet ran into the room, gripping a mug of coffee, and snarling fiercely. He got such a shock that he fell backwards off his chair.

"What the-." He trailed off as Ianto ran into the room, in close pursuit of Janet, waving his tie around his head and threatening to whip that (please insert appropriate swear word of your choice here) Weevil if it didn't bring his coffee back THIS VERY INSTANT!!!!! He clambered back on to his chair, only to be knocked of again by Janet rushing past him. He was just getting up for a second time when Ianto sprinted past, also knocking him off his chair.

"Hey! Ianto, get back here!" When he got no response, he sighed and flopped down into his chair. Things at Torchwood got CRAZY sometimes.


End file.
